BODDEN: Because I dont know how they do that.
BODDEN: Well, Peter, I didnt know that cause Im tall. I dont get many people looking over my shoulder.
SAGAL: Wall Street Journal – were all so crowded, and were all staring at our phones. The Wall Street Journal reports a lot of times people – theyre emailing somebody, and the person behind them will say, oh, I know that guy. Tell them I say hello. Some organizations are warning people to be more careful with their screens. Theyre even selling devices to sort of hide them.
Cyber Shoulder, Tinder Tutor, Tickula.
Cyber Shoulder, Tinder Tutor, Tickula.
KURTIS: Im Bill Kurtis. Youre right. Were playing this week with Alonzo Bodden, Janelle James and Helen Hong. And here again is the man, your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: No, even less high-tech than that.
BODDEN: Can we get one for Mitt Romney so he can stop eating hot dogs?
HONG: I would be so good at being this type of coach.
SAGAL: The other defense if you dont want to get, like, a screen blocker is just when you notice someone snooping over your shoulder just Google something like, is my Ebola infectious?
Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bills limericks are a real rhyme against humanity. Its the listener limerick challenge. If youd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT. Thats 1-. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the weeks news. Alonzo, The Wall Street Journal reports that the vast majority of information stolen from our mobile devices is not done by Russian hackers or any online workers but by whom?
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SAGAL: Itd be funny if you show up and theyre already sitting there. Have a seat, Helen. Well, do you want to get up and go somewhere?
BODDEN: I dont know any guys who would pay for it, though. Like, what are they going to teach a guy? Oh, use a real picture. Like thats going to happen.
JAMES: Theres no women paying for this. Get out of here.
SAGAL: That is the greatest security risk, people just looking over your shoulder.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT… DONT TELL ME, the NPR News quiz.
SAGAL: If you feel that you are wasting your time and money trying to date online, your solution – waste more time and money with an online coach for online dating.
SAGAL: Janelle, there is a new kind of tick spreading across the United States. And if it bites you, it might turn you into what?
SAGAL: Does that happen a lot as well, Helen?
SAGAL: You can tell that these are special ticks that turn you into vegetarians because, A, they have a little marking on their back, and also they have no sense of humor about it.
SAGAL: Yes, this has happened to people. Ill give you a hint. Just imagine a zombie stumbling toward you saying tofurkey, tofurkey.
SAGAL: Some of us dont have that advantage. Thats true.
SAGAL: Yeah, they want OkCupid to be more than OK for you.
JAMES: If it bites you, it might turn you into…
HONG: Yeah, because I do so much online dating.
HONG: If – like, dont let your first approach be, hey.
JAMES: Of course they are (laughter).
BODDEN: Oh, people just looking over your shoulder.
SAGAL: When a lone star tick bites you, you might well become allergic to meat. Its unfair that something that eats you prevents you from eating anything else.
HONG: Oh my, God. Its the No. 1 thing guys lie about, is their height. And its, like, you dont think Im going to show up and see how tall you are?
SAGAL: There are new companies. They are called Relationship Hero or The Worthy One or Look; Youre Not Getting Any Younger.
SAGAL: Yeah, pretty much. Reading about it, it sounds like theyre being, especially for women, sort of professional girlfriends. You can call them and go, oh, my God. I had this date with him. And he seemed, like, really weird. But it seemed OK…
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BODDEN: How much are these ticks at Whole Foods?
BODDEN: These are obviously California liberal ticks.
SAGAL: Do girls – Im sorry. Guys do that.
SAGAL: You think? Because you could actually do this.
BODDEN: Are these coaches, like, five teenage girls? Because whenever one of them gets a text, the whole group has to figure out, what did he mean, what did he say, and this and that.
SAGAL: Helen, this week The New York Times profiled a new career that didnt exist just a few years ago. People are making hefty hourly fees coaching people on how to do what?
SAGAL: Almost – they often are standing right next to you.
SAGAL: And what, Helen, have you learned?
JAMES: This is going to be primarily sit-down date, so…
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BODDEN: Thats a Helen Hong question.
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HONG: Im 5 feet tall. Everybodys looking over my shoulder.
SAGAL: Yes, theyre online dating coaches.
SAGAL: Well, close enough. It will turn you into a vegetarian.
SAGAL: They charge hourly fees for consultation and will set, like, a $1,000 fee for an online course on how to talk you through online dating problems like how to decipher a cryptic text message, building a better OkCupid profile or carbon dating that guys Tinder photo.
HONG: Stop it with the hey. Like, no girl likes that.
SAGAL: According to a study by German researchers, 97 percent of people have been involved in phone snooping. Now, I know that because a guy in front of me in the L train was reading the study on his phone.
ALONZO BODDEN: Youre not talking about, like, Amazon when they just – you think about something, and they send you ads for it.
HONG: Hefty hourly fees coaching people – can I get a hint?